I need feedback (A name, a name!) June 26, 2011

Okay, so anyone who has read my blog knows that I have been hemming and hawing over a name for a long, long time.

My friend, CJ, has been giving me feedback on different ideas, but we have yet to find something…until now! Watching a Horsemanship from the Heart clinic today it just came to me, and I kind of like it…

And so I would like some feedback! What do you think of…

Inspire Horsemanship with Eliya Finkelstein

Inspired by horses, for horses.

Get inspired!

To me, inspiration has so many meanings that are important. It encompasses spirit, life, breath, motivation, connection, and doing it for the horse how they need it.

I kind of LOVE it!

Thanks ya’ll.

Next Phase of the Journey… June 9, 2011

Since 2003 I have been dedicating my life to my mentor and her business.

I have loved every single moment (including the difficult ones) of learning from her as a friend, mentor, trainer, coach, and inspiration. I don’t know if I will ever find the right words to thank her for all she has taught me and how she has shaped my life to this point. Through the horses I have worked with, and the students I have learnt from, I am forever changed and growing.

Now, with a fiance in Nevada I am moving forward and making the extremely difficult decision of moving my life to Nevada. At the end of June  my horse, Sierra, and I will be following our life path to a small town called Battle Mountain to watch wild horses, and ride in the mountains.

Our path in life is forever changing and moving, and it’s our job to follow the path predetermined for us. This has been one of the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, but am stepping forward with trust, confidence, and excitement for what is to come.

Stay tuned! Here we go…

A couple references… April 19, 2011

“Since I started training and taking lessons with Eliya  my understanding and love for horses has increased insurmountably… Eliya opened my eyes and world to a powerful and much more symbiotic way of being with horses.  A partnership where you and your horse find a way to bridge the gap in communication and work together towards a common goal.”

-Tina and her horses Raven and Zen

“I could be your mother being way past double your age but you are definitly [sic] the WISER. You are very professional at dealing with people of all ages, teaching us life lessons, keeping us safe. Making us feel good about ourselves and having something to reflect about after each lesson. The training Angel and myself have received from you is beyond expectation. You have opened so many doors for us. Thank you for that … ”

-Stephanie and her horse Angel. 

Training Spot Now Available March 10, 2011

A training spot is now available for an equine and their human in the lower mainland (BC)!

I focus on finding the missing link in your relationship with your horse

 to take the two of you to a higher level of achievement, understanding and communication.

Whatever the discipline, whatever the goal, push your relationship to be something more…

30 – 90 minute consultations for only $60.00 (including HST!)

There is now one spot open for a horse in training with myself at the gorgeous Silver Star Stables in Langley, BC.

Check out the website at www.silverstarstables.com

Book now, e-mail me at eliya_finkelstein@hotmail.com

Breath March 10, 2011

Breath is the foundation of life – well duh.

But how often do we actually breathe? How often are you consciously aware of your breath? Think about it for a minute… when you breathe where does the breath go? Does it stop and get stuck at one spot? Do your ribcage and lungs fully expand and fully contract? Does your breath breathe you, or do you breathe your breath?

I never realized how important this was until I learnt how to breathe. See, I have had asthma since early adolescence and never realized that, not only had I never taken a full breath, I had to teach myself how to breathe. Well, actually my horse pointed this last one out. I had never realized what a full breath felt like. And in consequence, my horse was constantly holding her breath with me. Together we were not breathing (obviously I don’t mean literally not breathing…we were still alive, just not fully breathing.)

Not only does breath keep us alive, it is also the flow of energy in our body. If life is energy, then breath is energy.

Little breath means stunted energy, and an inability to access energy. Deep breath means flowing energy, and easy access to this energy.

In horses, and humans, stunted breath usually results in an inability to process a situation rationally and to learn from it. It often ends up with horses and humans simply reacting to stimuli, instead of processing the information about the stimuli, forming a plan of action, and then reacting.

Breath, therefore, is innately tied into our perception of the world.

With horses, I am learning how to listen for breath and therefore listen to the mental and emotional state of the horse, not just the physical. I am learning how to shape their mental state by just waiting for some breath, and then everything else falls into place. In shaping the mental horse, the energy follows and the physical horse is easily influenced. In shaping our breath together we are shaping our mutual understanding of our world.

This means starting from the inside of the horse and working out – how profound!

Now if only I could remember to breathe - I think my horse might appreciate that. In the meantime she and I are learning how to slow down, take a deep breath, and rationally analyze the situations we find ourselves in. Breathing is helping us to see where we are succeeding and acknowledging where we need work. It is helping me to work with her without ego, without expectation and instead to be fully present, aware, and connected.

…I don’t know if any of this makes sense in the physical world yet, it’s so difficult to put into words.

 So, I challenge you to become more aware of your breath every day. Explore how it influences you in different decisions, explore how it affects your relationships (especially with your horse…) And start to explore an intimate relationship with your breath….

Here’s where to begin: Where do you breathe from? Does your breath flow through your entire body? Does your breath feel forced or free? Does it move naturally through your nose or your mouth? What color is it? What sound does it make? Is it full? What does it feel like to take a full, deep, fulfilling breath? Can you?

 Practice slow, full, inhales and exhales. Inhaling through the nose, feeling the air fill you from the earth, up your toes, up your legs, into your torso and arms, and finally into your lungs, heart, and mind and out the crown of your head. Do not force the air – allow the air to fill you.  Exhaling that energy out the top of your head back down your body out into the earth. Again, do not force the air, let it leave you.

Listen to the sound. Keep a quiet mind, a quiet focus. Let the inhale fill you with positive energy and the exhale rid you of negative energy.

 Play with your breath; Can you use your breath to both energize and relax your body, mind and soul? Can it let go of tension, pain, anxiety? Can it fill you with ecstasy, joy, serenity?

(Remember, this is a practice for a reason… like my yoga instructor says: “it’s called a yoga practice for a reason: there is no yoga perfect. Just stay aware – “notice what you notice, and feel what you feel” as my good friend says. And above all – have fun!)

And with that, (and a big deep breath…)

‘Till next time…

 

Been a while… January 21, 2011

So it’s been a while since I’ve written. I have not given up!
The next installment will come soon and will likely focus on the importance of breath…
Till then….

The Golden Rules – Three ‘C’s June 20, 2010

So I decided today that these “golden rules” help to guide me in my training. If you can stick by these you can’t go wrong…(but I know the amazing abilities some people have.)

1. Clarity – Be sure that not just what you are trying to say, but how you are saying it, is as clear a day. I always wonder how if I’m watching a trainer and I can’t understand what they want of the horse, how can the horse have any clue! If I can’t understand, how in the world can the horse, when I can hear the trainers explanations. If there isn’t enough clarity in how your presenting your ideas no one is going to understand what you want, horse or human. If you are not presenting your ideas in a way your horse can easily understand, don’t expect them to understand it, and don’t get angry or frustrated with them if they’re not getting it. One of my favorite sayings from my mentor: A horse can only learn if something is being taught. So make sure you’re actually teaching! One of the places where this falls apart, is people don’t actually thing through what they would like from their horse. How can you be clear with your horse when you’re not even sure what you want. So before you ask for anything from your horse, be sure you know, in nauseating detail, what you want from your horse. This doesn’t mean you will get this exact thing, but you will have a much better understanding of when to release and reward for the small try’s, and when to correct  the incorrect behaviors. The first step to clarity is knowing what you want, then how best to explain it to your horse, then listening to their feedback and re-clarifying it, or changing how your asking (if it’s not working, change what you’re doing!)

2. Consistency- Horses only learn from repetition and reward (notice, repetition, not drilling,) and knowing what is expected of them. If your boundaries, rules, and expectations are constantly changing they cannot understand what is expected of them. This consistency starts from the moment you grab your horse’s halter to go catch them. The only way horse’s ever become reliable is when they know, each time you show up at the gate, what will be expected of them and that it NEVER changes.

This also means, when you decide to change the rules on them, give them time to adjust and allow them time to change their routines to fit your new rules. This won’t happen instantly, however it can happen quickly if you stay consistent with your rules.

Consistency is what teaches horses any response from any signal. I remember watching people wave their finger at their horse, and the horse would back ten feet. It amazed me that a signal that should make no sense to the horse in their language, could creat a response. How did they do it? Consistency. The wiggle of the finger was followed by a gentle wave of the rope, that was followed by a firmer wave, and finally the clip of the rope biting them in the chin. Doing this over and over again allowed the horses to understand what was expected of them, and what was going to happen as a consequence if they didn’t listen to the first signal. And so a seemingly meaningless cue (the wiggle of the finger) can turn into a meaningful cue (back up,) because the alternative sucks way more (being bit in the chin by the clip.)

Consistency is the key to teaching your horses. You can teach them just about anything through consistency and either reward for the correct option, or a consequence for the incorrect option (that part’s up to you, I know what I would do.)

3. Compassion - What brought you to horses in the first place? It probably had something to do with love. You loved the way they looked/felt/smelt, etc. Some kind of love inspired you to beg your parents for lessons, or whatever it was. For most people, however, the stress of competition or achievement out does this love and we begin to feel angry with our horses, and sometimes even hate them, when they are not accomplishing the things we need them to. This rule  is SO important if you want to keep your horse as a willing partner and allow for them to flourish as an individual. This applies to everything you do, but i want to highlight how it applies to corrections:

Remember, a correction is only a correction. It’s a clarification of where there was a misunderstanding and where the horse should have done something different. I mostly see people misunderstand corrections with people who are trying to teach their horses to lead properly. Wherever they decide they want their horses to stay (right beside them, three feet behind, whatever,) they typically have a way of telling their horse when it’s in the wrong place, and this usually isn’t nice. Instead of simply correcting the horse’s position, and putting them back where they should have been they hit, yell, clip their horse in the chin, etc. to make their point.

Here’s a thought: If you simply show them where they should be, will they still understand? The anger, frustration, etc. will get your result in the end, but to what consequence to the horse and your relationship?

Keep the anger or frustration out of it, which is extremely difficult for most of us, but remember that if the horse isn’t getting it there is a break in communication and the human is at fault 99.9% of the time. And don’t ever forget why you got into horses in the first place. Don’t be afraid to love on them. I know every time I turn my horse out in her field I kiss her right at the base of her ear and whisper “I Love You,” because I do and I want her to know it!

And that’s all for now, folks.

Finding Softness June 14, 2010

Softness was a concept explained and taught to me by my training mentor, and something I’ve used for years but never called it anything. It is a concept also taught by Mark Rashid, a trainer I highly respect.

To me, ‘softness’ has become the outward application of an internal state in which you present your thoughts and ideas in a non-confrontational, yet clear and firm way. (I’ll give you a moment to think about that)

…

Softness means you apply your aids (hands, seat, legs, energy, intention, etc.) in a way that does not allow for the horse to fight or be confrontational back. In its application, you absorb the tension of the other being you’re applying your aid to, and respond back without that same tension. In doing this you will find that the other being, wether it be a human or a horse, no longer wants to fight as there is nothing to fight against.

One of the things you will always hear around my training mentor and I are things like ‘he can’t fight if he’s got nothing to fight against,’ ‘ she can’t pull if she’s got nothing to pull against,’ ‘ he can’t brace if he’s got nothing to brace against,’ etc. What a novel idea! Presenting your ideas in a way that your horse CANNOT fight against! It dissolves the issues of bracing, fighting, pulling, etc.

Now, let’s be totally clear on a few things before anyone tries this:

1. This is a practice. It goes hand in hand with centering (a whole other blog) and takes practice to understand it. Mark Rashid has a DVD that you can buy that explains it beautifully and has great games to play to truly understand centering and softening.
2. Softness IS NOT weakness. There is a HUGE difference between asking in a way that will not produce confrontation, and asking in a way that is just weak and unclear. Softness is extremely clear in its intention and goals, it’s simply different in the application of them.

In finding softness (and centering) we can find true willingness in our equine partners.

And that’s all for now, folks.

It’s like we’re starting all over again June 10, 2010

I feel like I’m 17 again, and starting Sierra for the first time. We are learning to do everything properly from the beginning again. She is forming new muscles, this time where they belong, and becoming stronger each day.

I’m learning to be patient with her, helping her find her way through the rehab process, but also finding some play. Our newest game? Jumping a fallen tree. The log is low enough she can make her way over, carefully lifting and planting one foot after the next, but when that becomes boring and mundane she launches her body over the log as if it’s twice as high and round.

Her back has become level, no longer dipping and swaying in odd spots, and her muscles ripple as she engages them (again, the right ones now!)

She is soft and willing, no longer avoiding me because of the pain, and happy to come out to play. We are finally back to our old, yet new, ways. This time, however, I’m far more aware of her limitations and capabilities, more patient and soft in my requests, and far more open to her feedback.

It’s nice to have my old, but new, horse back again.

The Importance of Permission June 10, 2010

Roxy’s way of being has worked for her in the past; defending herself by squealing, stomping and being in heat any time a hand is outstretched her way. The first time I met her, this was my greeting. In stickingto these old patterns and habits, she is able to keep herself and her emotions protected.

The first time I took her from her stall to her field I told her this:

” I will only help you if you can help yourself, and I give you permission to let this go. If you’re willing to let go of your defense, I will help you find another way to be in this world”

To be perfectly honest, I never thought this would get us anywhere, but felt somehow inclined to let her know she could change.

Long story short Roxy is now ‘in training’ with me and learning to be a different way. She was under the impression that she had no voice or option in the world, that everything was ‘do it, or else,’ (which is not uncommon with the majority of trainers today.) She was extremely uncomfortable in my space (and mine in hers!) but believed she had no choice but to be there and obey. Our first lesson together was nothing more than allowing her to leave when she wanted to. I spent the first hour taking up the space she was standing in and letting her leave or stay there, whichever she wanted. Giving her permission to leave if she didn’t like what was going on has been the most powerful lesson for her and I. 

I was so impressed when I heard that on Sunday a person that Roxy was not fond of came to visit. Instead of barging up to the stall door and squealing in defense, she stood at the back of her stall and watched from a distance. To some this would seem unimportant, but to me and her owner this was a huge step. She is realizing that she has a choice in how and who she interacts with.

I, however, am also learning the importance of permission. Not only giving permission to the horses to react how they are feeling, but also to give permission to myself. Permission to be sad when I’m sad, grumpy when I’m grumpy, happy when I’m happy, lazy when I’m lazy, and all the other things I feel like doing and being. What good is it to let the rest of the world dictate how I behave? I want to be able to take full responsibility for my actions, or my lack there of, because I can give myself permission to feel, and I wonder how many people really allow themselves to do that?

Just like Roxy we live in a constant state of self-protection and preservation by acting a certain way around others. What is the big deal? Do I really want to live my life because of how others believe I should behave? I want to say what I think, feel how I feel, and be who I want to be.

I think our biggest fear in allowing ourselves this freedom is we don’t want to be judged and ridiculed by others because of it. In my life I often feel as if others have tons to say about the way I am. I am constantly reminding myself that their interpretation of me is just that, their interpretation, and it’s no reason for me to live in a state of constant defense like Roxy.